What a crazy and great time it has been for Sunshine and I the last two months. We have spent the last month in Louisville KY so that I can train and get to know G.O. Ministries better. We are also spending the time fundraising so that we can be full time missionaries in the field. We will be here in Kentucky until the first week in December and then head back to Omaha for several weeks and then off to the Dominican Republic on December 31st.
At the end of August I resigned from my job with the Omaha Royals (AAA Baseball) team to start my transition into full time ministry. It was a difficult decision to make, I loved what I did in baseball and enjoyed my career but I could no longer ignore the call to make an eternal impact on the world. Many people have asked me about how I came to this decision, so I thought I would share it with you.
Restoration:
It was the first Thursday of September 2003 and I found myself in a place that I never thought I would be…the ICU. A short nine months earlier I had be diagnosed with a schwanoma tumor. While the tumor was benign it was in a difficult spot, in my right ear drum to the base of the brain. This was my second surgery for the tumor, it was supposed to be one and done but they ran into some problems on the first surgery. Turned out the silly thing was bigger than they thought, so I was back for round two.
I remember three things about that night in the ICU. First it was opening night of the NFL so of course I asked the nurse to turn on the game. I remember the Redskins were playing somebody, but I don’t even know the score of the game. It was on for the principal of the fact that if a game was on TV, I needed to have it on no matter what state of condition I was in. I remember asking to see my parents; they had gone out to eat! I forgave them after realizing that it was very late and the surgery had lasted about 10+ hours. The last thing I remember was having a conversation with God.
My parents raised me in a Christian home and my mom led me to the Lord when I was eight. Now in my adult years my faith was still with me, but it was on the back burner. I had my moral compass, but wasn’t involved in church or much of anything outside of my sports career. Well the tumor was my wake up call to say the least. After my first surgery I was angry, mad and just depressed. I was supposed to be fine! How could this be happening! That was my daily thoughts and process as a quickly head into a tailspin. That was until Carl Goodman stepped in to a networking group that I was a member of. Carl was a guest of another member and he was also the Associate Pastor of Lakeside Baptist Church. He didn’t invite me to come, but something about him being at our meeting was internally telling me to get off my backside and go to church. Carl was a good enough guy, that later became a good friend, so I went to visit Lakeside Baptist Church. I slowly got back involved in church, but was just sticking my toes into the water. Then it came time for the second surgery.
The conversation with God was more like the tipping point in my life. I remember crying out to God on that night “Ok, ok, ok, you have my attention. Whatever you want me to do, I will do it. I can’t carry this load anymore. I am yours.” That was it and I can honestly say that it felt like the weight of the world was lifted off my shoulders.
Life did change for me after that. I became more and more involved at church, started volunteering and made some life changes. I also tried to utilize my role at work for Christ by helping organize and promote Faith & Family nights. I eventually got back on my feet health wise and I was a new person. Still human with struggles just like everyone else, but I had a renewed purpose to live for Christ. I turned over areas of my life one by one to Christ and made improvements until he challenged me for another area. It is never an easy thing to do, but once you put aside our human emotion it is amazing how blessed you can be.
I would NEVER do that!
I am sure that I have said I would never do something a million different times, but I only remember two of those times. In part, because I was so dogmatic in my proclamation about each one of the things I would never do! The first was when I was told a friend of mine was going to Grace University. I was like good for him, but I would NEVER go to school there! Only to end up going there just a short 16 months later. The second was a good friend of mine from Jr. High, Eric Gibson, was fulfilling a lifelong dream to become a missionary. I uttered the same thing…..That is great for him, I know that is what he wanted to do, but I would NEVER be a missionary. God must have a sense of humor, because he had to be laughing at me during those two times.
Eric Gibson would send me updates about his work as a school teacher in Africa. It was on one of these newsletters that had information about a new sports ministry that was starting up. I was like that would be cool, if I ever did something like actually become a missionary I could see myself doing that. I even went as far as to look at the website and then put it out of my mind. I was far too busy with my career in sport s to worry about that.
Several years went by between looking at the website and meeting Sunshine. I never gave much thought to the missionary thing until I met her. We decided early on in our relationship that we would both be open to each other’s career path, her working with missions in the Dominican Republic and me with sports in the US. She was back in the US for a break, so there wasn’t much of a sacrifice on my part, until I fell in love and she left to go back to the Dominican Republic. She asked me to come and visit, so in February of 2007 I went to help with at Baseball Clinic. After spending a week working and helping out I knew that this was something that I could do for the rest of my life.
The biggest hurdle to get over was my own ego. I had many conversations with God about why I couldn’t become a missionary. My career was going great, I don’t know the language, I am not good outside my comfort zone, I can be the guy that gives to missionaries . The big one was look God I am don’t see good out of one eye now, I am pretty much deaf in one ear and my face doesn’t work right how can I help. The really boiled down to excuses. God had blessed me with my health and everything that I had, the job, possessions and even Sunshine so it became clear that he was asking me to give it all up for him.
I don’t have a clue, but I have a purpose.
Together Sunshine and I decided to go for it which is where we are at today. People ask me all the time what I will be doing in the Dominican. I have an idea based on my experience and what other missionaries of told me, but let’s be honest….I don’t have a clue. That hit home to me about the first week into this journey as I sat trying to learn Spanish. The last ten years everyday that I walked into the office I knew what I was doing. Sure, each day can be different and curves thrown at you but for the most part I knew what I was doing and I knew how to get there. Now there are times that I feel like I don’t know my right from my left, up from down or 1, 2, 3, from uno, dos, tres. The thing that I do have in life is a purpose! A purpose to share the love of God by reaching out to others, it isn’t about me but about what he has in store for my life and the lives that we all can reach. God says,” Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.” Proverbs 3:5-6.
This is part of the process that has led me to this point. Sunshine and I are so excited about what the future holds for us over the next weeks, months and years. Sunshine will post an update next month about a great story from her trip this past summer. As we head into November it isn’t too early to start remembering all the things you are thankful for. I challenge you to not just think about them, but if they are about someone let them know, if they are for something then share it with others, but also be forever thankful of God’s love for us.
